The Life and Times of a Busy Woman

Friday, December 14, 2012

The Light Has Arrived

You know ... that light at the end of the tunnel.  It's here in all its' glory ... yet, I don't know how to describe my feelings right now.  I realized the last time that I posted was November 8th.  That was a roller coaster day and the last weeks haven't found the end of that hellacious ride. 


I finished writing my last papers of my college career on November 17th.  What a relief!  It was a day of no calls again so I just got the last two papers done.  Then, I proceeded to pour a tall glass of wine (after I was officially off duty), drink the whole thing, and dance around my kitchen and dining room.  Hey, I never said I wasn't crazy.  I work in an ER and in EMS, we're certifiable. 


We got approved for the project I was feeling rushed about.  It went well, as good as can be expected with High School Seniors.  They reminded me why I never wanted A) any more children, and B) to be a teacher.

I finished up my Partnership hours ... and cried as I walked out.  My partner got me a gift that just pushed me over the edge.  It was supposed to be a good thing that hours were over, but I couldn't help missing the place and the people.

I had a job interview the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  I kept getting bumped up in the interview process, all positive, and to this day I cannot get anyone to return my phone calls.  Not impressed.

Thanksgiving came and went uneventfully.  I was on duty that day, no calls and had lunch with my EMS family.  Had dessert with a friend and her family.  They live close by and were supposed to have dinner late, but of course that got moved around.

Mmmmm, pie

I contacted my Director to get it "straight from the horse's mouth" ... I will not be employed as an RN after I graduate.  "Go work on a telemetry floor for a year and come see me when you have experience."  The range of emotions right then and there was amazing.  I'd never felt so betrayed in my life.  With all my aforementioned departmental experience, and the history of hiring current employees when they "level-up" it seemed I would have a job.  Apparently, my loyalty for the past 52 months did not count for diddly-squat.  All the times I've "bailed them out" of staffing situations, rearranged my life for them.  It was more than a slap in the face.  Of course, I'm not burning that bridge outwardly ... but I've already torched it multiple times over in my mind.  I will not work for someone who cannot recognize loyalty and reciprocate.  I started saying my good byes to co-workers and their reactions have soothed some of my heartache of the situation.  There are many that are mad and that at least tells me I'll be a little missed.  Many Doctors offered me recommendations/to be references when they found out. 

A co-worker who became one of my best friends (and pretty much my work mom) over the last 52 months made me an afghan.  When I say made, I should say crocheted.  An intricate afghan that is almost as tall as I am (and I'm 5'8").  She's got some "skillz."  It's one of many different designs she has made.  I'm not quite an RN yet, Board test date to be determined, but I will be.  I won't be working with her anymore, but I'll still have her close by.


I worked my last shift with my favorite doctor of all time.  That.was.hard.  I walked out at the end with my dignity intact, but if he would have tried to hug me when he said good bye, I would have lost it right there.  I did, by the time I got to my car.  I immediately called a friend, a very dear friend, on my way home (UConnect Phone is great in my car).  I asked him how he was, how his new house was, etc.  He could tell something was wrong by my voice.  "I just worked my last shift with Dr. _______."  Him, in only the way he can say, "Oh.  OH!  So, yeah."  Then he proceeded to talk about anything and everything that came to mind, which ended up making me laugh and cured the tears.

A few days later, a classmate of mine ended up in the hospital.  No one knew what was wrong, Doctors couldn't find a source of her pain.  After emergent surgery and coding twice, she passed away.  They still haven't told us what actually happened, but the funeral will be on 12/12/12.  Coincidentally, that was also the date of our last final.  After much rearranging, they ended up offering the final in multiple different sections, but we still had to do our Senior Leadership Poster Presentation later that day after the funeral.  Lots of puffy eyes, but we made it through.  At 26 years old and after all that hard work, to pass away unexpectedly in the last week is more than tragic.  We'll be honoring her at our Pinning ceremony. 


I worked my last shift with the weekend crew this past Sunday.   I couldn't ask for a better work family.  My work mom bought me lunch, much to my surprise.  I had actually brought my lunch, but luckily it was in the freezer.  Besides, the pizza we ordered was amazing and partly tradition.  Her husband picked her up early from work, much to my objection.  I still had 45 minutes to harass her, but they carpool and he was out of work early and her relief had already showed up.  I went out to harass her husband, partly because I could, but the main reason was that I was trying not to cry.  Focusing on "being angry" at him was helping hold the dam.  Wow, I've been so emotional lately.  Luckily, again, she didn't try to hug me.  I would have lost it.  Instead, she climbed in on her side of the car and didn't see the tears I was trying unsuccessfully to hold back.  I'm going to miss her more than words can express.


Monday, I had another job interview.  Amid the snow and ice, I went.  The Director called and asked if I wanted to reschedule.  "If you're not planning on going home early, storms are a part of working in a hospital and I'll just start early and give myself plenty of time to get there."  Almost 7 years at one hospital plus working as a Mail Carrier earlier in life has taught me plenty about driving in snow/sleet/ice.  The interview began with, "I really want to hire you, but I had to meet with you and have you answer at least a couple questions before I could officially do so."  Wait, what?!  It lasted all of 20 minutes.  I walked out with a job, plus I can start as soon as I'm "paperwork-official" as a nurse graduate.  So I don't have to pass my boards to get my first paycheck.  What a RELIEF!  The Director had been a night Nursing Supervisor during my partnership there in their ER.  She knew how I worked and loved it.  She spoke with my Partner whom only had praise for me.  I AM EMPLOYED! 


Pinning is t-minus 23.5 hours away.  I should be bouncing off the walls.  Instead, my facebook newsfeed is filled with more tragedy.  Between CT and China, today is a yet another day that will go down in history.  Due to my work in the ER, Psych Nursing Clinical, and EMS, I know that there are some seriously ill people out there.  Today's proof is beyond tragic.  My thoughts go out to the families involved. 

In the midst of writing this, the UPS man came.  I was expecting some stuff, but not everything that was addressed to me was ordered by me.  My husband ordered me a Vermont Teddy Bear that's wearing scrubs and has a pin with my name, RN on it.  What a guy.  I sent him a pic to his cell saying, "I found this guy traveling via UPS and he was cold.  So I thought he needed warming up."  Well, I guess the bear should be a girl since it's supposed to be me ... hahaha.  I took off the scrub cap and the mask.  Vermont Teddy Bears make a RN version, but it's with a white dress and cap which we don't wear anymore.  After calling to thank him, my husband said he figured removing the cap and mask was better than the one with the white dress anyway, so that was his plan if he intercepted it before I got it.

15" Scrubs Bear
Oh so cute and snuggly!
Well, my 1.5 daughters have arrived home from school.  The "0.5" is the neighbor kid who gets off the bus everyday here since her dad works till 5pm.  She calls me mom (hers isn't involved in life).  Time for snacks, homework, games, and to surprise her with an early Christmas gift.  Found a set of drumsticks on Etsy that I had laser engraved with her name, in a flame font.  Hahahaha, what tom boy drummer wouldn't like those?  My daughter is going to her Grandparents for Christmas out of state and won't be here after the 19th, so she might as well open them early. 

Only 1.5 hours left until the end of my duty day.  I vacuumed, checked all the camera batteries, SD cards, and wrote this LONG synopsis.  Time to start making enchiladas, put together my outfit and other clothes for tomorrow, and hug my child (even tighter than I do already). 



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